Apparently it’s supposed to start snowing here in Oregon pretty soon! Personally I think the best we’re gonna get is an A for effort, but I’m a pessimist. Anyway, I know one thing: it’s ridiculously cold out right now, like EAST COAST COLD. Okay, that’s not true. But I’m used to a temperate climate! I did n’t even know that there were actually sub-zero temperatures until I went to Montana. I assumed they were a story told by coat companies to scare us into buying puffer jackets. (Which are the spawn of Satan, just in case you were wondering.)
Because I care about all of you, I don’t want you to go out of your house this Winter lookin’ like a fool. (Or with your pants on the ground, but that’s a story for a different day.) You know what that means? NO UGGS. And certainly no Uggs with North Face jackets and leggings worn as pants. Don’t. Do. It. Here are a few of my favorite cold-weather styles, guaranteed to keep you cozy!
Firstly: The trapper hat!
Definitely one of the best ways to keep your head warm. You know what your mom always told you: 98% of body heat escapes through the head! These are also very soft and cozy. Just one piece of advice: don’t fold the ear flaps up. Pretend you can’t. LEAVE ‘EM BE. There will be haters, friends and roommates may call you a hipster, (y’all know who you are). Remember this: they’re just jealous of you. Respect the hat. RESPECT IT! The hat on the right is from REI and retails for about 35 dollars, but it’s possible to find them much cheaper. Seampunks ain’t payin’ 35 clams for no hat, see?
Dos: Motorcycle boots!
You know what I was saying about Uggs earlier? These are much better. Not only are they much more stylish, durable, and stylish (did I already say that?), they’ll actually support your feet and legs, which Uggs will not do. It’s completely possible to find boots like this at thrift stores, but searching “vintage boots” on a site like eBay is much easier. Why vintage? Because they’ll be one-of-kind, and they’ll have that perfect I-know-I’m-BA-and-I-don’t-need-you-to-tell-me patina. It doesn’t get much cooler. If you start walking like Steve McQueen, don’t say I didn’t warn you. If you really want your feet to stay toasty, buy ’em a bit big so you can layer up on socks.
I’m so tired of seeing every chick/bloke wearing a North face jacket. If you’re actually a climber I guess I’ll let it slide..but can we please have a little originality? It’s okay, really. Get yourself a peacoat, and make sure it fits. Arm length, where it hits on the hip, and shoulder width are all important. It’s a hunt to find the perfect one, but it’s worth it. There’s a reason these have been a classic for decades. If you get a little roomier coat you can wear a sweater/hoodie underneath to stay even warmer.