This guy. Is insane. The last time I saw hair that big, I was at Miss Texas pageant. (Just kidding, I love you Texas. Please don’t put me on Death Row.) And the bronzer! What is he, a guest judge on Toddlers and Tiaras? Somebody tell the great pumpkin over there to step away from the curling iron and put down the AquaNet.
Oh honey. No. It’s 2012. That haircut needs to go someplace far away. I know you have other things to think about, but the only legendary creature you need to see is Edward Scissorhands. (Edward used to a cool name before it was associated with sparkly emos. Those were the days.) While you’re at it, burn that shirt.
BROS. I found Weird Al’s brother! Why is it not hard to believe he’d be on a show like this?! What’s in the water in Lynnwood, anyway?! This gentleman also has a impossible-to-place accent. It might also be a speech impediment. If it is, I apologize for making fun of it. However. That does NOT change the fact that he needs an appointment with Mr. Schick (and a weedwacker) ASAP.